Like everyone in my program, I sent my applications to CEGEP towards mid-February. I was very happy to move on from high school and looked forward to leave the city of Granby for good. Certain that I would be offered a spot in Champlain College in Saint-Lambert, I made the bold choice to apply exclusively at that school. As you can see, I did not end up attending Champlain College as I received my letter of refusal about two months after my application. Still determined to attend an English college in the goal of improving the language, I applied to Vanier College in the second round knowing that most of the spots were already fulfilled. I lived in the anxiety of not knowing whether or know I was going CEGEP in the next year until I obtained my acceptance letter in the beginning of May.

The next step in my journey was to find a place to live in Montreal. To do so, I spent multiple weekends browsing the streets of Ville Saint-Laurent searching for an “À louer” sign. Although I visited multiple apartments, trying to find the perfect one was like searching a needle in a haystack of old creepy buildings with questionable hygiene.  Knowing that I would normally move July 1^st like everyone in Quebec, I started to stress when we were walking in June and I had still not found a place. Finishing my finals and handing in my end of program project, I also had other things in mind. It is when I came back refreshed from my end of program trip to Costa Rica that I finally found a place close to the college and the metro.

The first day of school, I started my French class. Since my English was not really good at that time, I was somehow relieved to start my journey at Vanier in my first language. I remember being intimidated by everyone speaking English and measuring at least seven feet tall. I spent the first month and a half of adaptation to my new life juggling between my antacids, my prescription of Dexilant, yoga, and meditation to deal with my stomach burns caused by the stress. It is when I began to interact with people a little bit more and get used to studying in my second language that I started to calm down even if there was still the huge workload.

One of the things I was the most surprised about was the cultural diversity at Vanier. Growing up with white parents and having mainly white friends and classmates, I was used to be the different looking girl, but at Vanier, I as just one of the other Asians. Additionally, since there are so many people coming from different cultural or religious backgrounds, there is a huge variety of opinion which make conversation particularly interesting. There is also an open-minded vibe in the school which make people interested to talk with people that think or look different from themselves.  

Now towards the end of my journey at Vanier College, I am pretty glad about what I have achieved. I started tutoring biology and physics in the TASC center which really helped improve my communication skills and although my grades were not great in my first two semesters, I succeeded to get on the Dean’s Honour Roll for the Fall 2019 semester. My time at Vanier also helped me to validate my career aspirations. I particularly found interesting my two biology courses and learned tremendously from my Research Methods science option course.

 Though the decision of moving alone to another city and attending an English college might seem odd for someone as shy as me, my journey at Vanier really helped me to put myself outside of my comfort zone and grow. Not only I was forced to figure out how to live by myself, but I also had to learn how to communicate with people I did not know in a language I was not familiar with. Finally, putting myself in uncomfortable positions was only a way for me to improve myself in different areas and develop tools that will be useful for me in the future.  

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In the movie the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Joel, the main character, gets his memory erased to avoid the burden of a painful breakup. Even though it seems to be the right thing to do in his situation, the outcome of the film shows the irrelevance of getting his memory erased as he and Clementine keep meeting and going through the same hardships over and over. In other words, undergoing the memory erasing medical procedure only is the easy way out of his pain. Even if he tries to run away from the hard times, they are going to catch up with him one day or another. It can be hypothesized that if he did not get his memory erased after his painful breakup, he would not be stocked in an endless cycle with Clementine where they keep falling in love and breaking up. He would have probably met with her later in his life after their first breakup and figure out a way to build a strong relationship with her knowing what they already have been through.

Though removing unpleasant memories like Joel did may not be the best thing to do, there are different reasons why someone would want to get his or her memory erased. For people with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), it could be an alternative to psychotherapy or antidepressants. PTSD is defined as the “psychological response to the experience of intense traumatic events, particularly those that threaten life” (Veteran Affairs Canada). Often present in former soldiers or victims or assault or accident, PTSD can revive instantly a traumatic memory leading to psychological and physiological distress (Veteran Affairs Canada). Having their traumatic memories erased could help some to be relived from the disorder and to come back to be a functioning person. Dr. Francoise Baylis, who occupies the Research Chair in bioethics and philosophy at Dalhousie University in Halifax, believes that memory makes up a person’s identity and that removing some of the traumatic or unpleasant memory could alter a person’s sense of self (CBC news). Therefore, memory erasing therapy may not be the best option to take, even for people with PTSD. Dan Campbell, a former Canadian soldier who fought in Afghanistan, who also has PTSD considers “his memories, his fears and anxiety [as being] part of who he is” (CBC News). Indeed, it is also what some professional think. Additionally, memories represent of proof of acquired knowledge from past experiences, therefore, they are used as a tool to help people to move on in life, learn from their mistakes and try to avoid repeating them.  As it is seen in Joel and Clementine case, removing their memories just caused them to remain in an endless love cycle.

Therefore, other types of promising therapies are being developed to treat patients with PTSD. In Kat McGowan’s article “How Much of Your Memory is True”, we can learn about the concept of reconsolidation which is the idea that one’s memory is altered each time one remembers it. This concept suggests that by following a memory therapy paired with a certain drug, people with PTSD could still be allowed to remember what happened to them without feeling the traumatic impact of their experience. According to the psychologist Alain Brunet This type of therapy could also be used to treat other types of psychological disorders, like anxiety or phobias, as they also involve memory (McGowan).

In brief, erasing memory would not be necessary for any kind of situation because altering a person’s sense of self represents too big of a risk. As said earlier, our memories build up the sense of self. They help remember the hardships of the past which is essential to move on in the future. In a couple of years, memory erasing therapy might see the day just like in the science fiction film the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Indeed, people would be allowed to erased their memory whenever they want to even though it might not be beneficial at the end of the day. However, living in a liberal country, everyone has the right to autonomy and choice, to the best of their knowledge, which is good for them.

Works Cited

CBC news. “PTSD and the Ethics of Erasing Bad Memories”. CBC, September 24, 2014. https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/ptsd-and-the-ethics-of-erasing-bad-memories-1.2775192

Kaufman, Charlie. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Michel Gondry, Pierre Bismuth, Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, released March 19, 2004.

McGowan, Kat. “How Much of Your Memory is True”, Discover Magazine. August 3 2009. http://discovermagazine.com/2009/jul-aug/03-how-much-of-your-memory-is-true

Veteran Affairs Canada. “Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and war-related stress”. Veteran Affairs Canada, Date modified: February 5 2019,  https://www.veterans.gc.ca/eng/health-support/mental-health-and-wellness/understanding-mental-health/ptsd-warstress

 

Stanley Kubrick’s “Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb” is a popular film known for its satirical examination of the Cold war. Various aspects of the film like the name of the characters, the visual elements, and the auditory components contribute to the depiction of the irrelevance of the war and the male ego. In other words, the conflict between the Soviet Union and the United States in the film is turned into a silly “my father is stronger than yours” type of conflict.

As mentioned, Kubrick plays with the names of the characters wisely to reinforce the idea of the male ego. His choice also allows to understand the true nature of each character. For example, the Air Force General, who is a strong believer in conspiracy theories and inhabited by an irrational fear of communists, is named Jack Ripper. During the movie, one can see him sending an alert to launch a destructive hydrogen bomb on the Soviet territory during one of his psychotic breaks. An evident parallel can be made between the General and Jack the Ripper, the unidentified serial killer whose victims were exclusively women. The General can, therefore, be associated with the violent destruction of human life and even toxic masculinity. Another example would be the General “Buck” Turgidson. The childish and loud character is associated with the word “turgid” which is often used to qualify an erection since, in medical terms, the adjective is used to describe a swollen organ or living tissue. Again, the General’s name represents in a sense the greatness and the strongness of masculinity. In Brief, the Generals’ names along with the names of the other characters of the film such as Mandrake, T.J. King Kong and President Merkin Muffley all relate to the male ego in a different way.

The name of Dr. “Strangelove” is certainly the most significant and more meaningful one. Indeed, the character shows a special affection for the doomsday machine; a weapon that has the potential to wipe life off of Earth. As his name indicates, it is pretty odd to show any kind of love for an invention that has the potential to create an apocalyptic world. As the second part of the title of the movie indicates “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb”— Dr. Strangelove and the other characters do not fear the bomb and even love the idea of possessing one. The name “Strangelove” is not only significant for the character, but also for the entire film as multiple strange “loves” are present. For example, when the president of the United States calls the president of the Soviet Union to announce to him that there has been a problem with the hydrogen bomb and that his country is soon going to be destroyed by it, both presidents share a friendly relationship. Both characters show an unconventional exchange where they seem to love hating and taunting each other like old friends. Their principal conflict about who had the bigger bomb turn into an even sillier one where the characters are arguing about which one of them likes the other one the most or which one of them is more upset. In short, the name “Strangelove” is not only meant to characterize the doctor, but also to bring a certain perspective to the love-hate relationships of the characters.

Some of the visual aspects of the movie also have an importance in the critical purpose of the piece. For instance, multiple images of massive missiles are in fact phallic imagery criticizing the male ego. Being composed of a majority of men, the film depicts virile characters who seem to be fighting over “who has the biggest rocket” and forgetting the true nature of their conflict. The critic of the male ego and phallic imagery is also seen in the shots of General Ripper as he is often seen from below with a long cigar in his mouth making him look tall and powerful. Other meaningful visual tropes are the two greetings written on the rocket. One of them has the greeting “Dear John”, which is known to be a letter from a woman addressed to a soldier to end their relationship. In this situation, the “Dear John” on the rocket also signifies the end of a relationship, but in a more drastic way. On the second rocket, the friendly greeting “Hi there” is ironically used on the weapon. In, summary, the visual tropes of the film are used as a tool for the criticism of the male ego and the irrelevance of extreme violence and destruction in the conflict.

Finally, the movie ends with bombing clips accompanied by a joyful song. The last images with the music show the detachment of men from the war and its victims. The movie could ironically look like it has a happy ending because of the music, but it is, in fact, ending on the destructive effect of the war, again questioning the relevance of the conflict driven by the male ego.

Works Cited

“Dear John Letter, | Definition of Dear John Letter in US English by Oxford Dictionaries.” Oxford Dictionaries | English, Oxford Dictionaries, en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/us/Dear_John_letter.

 “Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb (1964).” Most Influential, Significant and Important Films in American Cinema – The 1960s, www.filmsite.org/drst.html.

 “The Victims of Jack the Ripper.” The History Press, www.thehistorypress.co.uk/articles/the-victims-of-jack-the-ripper/.

“TURGID | Meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary.” Cambridge Dictionary. N.p., n.d. Web. 06 Mar. 2019.